Keep the Bootay Local. OPP/Part Time Lovers Association Press Release

For Immediate Release: June 24, 2009

Contact: Jezebel Byrne 1-800-NU-BOOTY

East Orange, NJ. (Illtown)- This morning, O.P.P and the Part Time Lovers Association (PTLA) dispatched a letter to Governor Mark Sanford (R), South Carolina, urging him to bring his illicit affair back to the United States of America. The OPP/PTLA request comes in the wake of news reports and confession that Governor Sanford left the country for the purpose of committing adultery on the foreign shores of Argentina with an Argentinean citizen.

OPP/PTLA pointed out to Sanford that outsourcing booty-calls to foreign countries leave countless American hook-ups, part-time lovers, mistresses and miras without Popis, playas and Guys That Fuck Around on Their Wives. OPP/PTLA stressed that bringing the poonani back to the heartland would improve the economic conditions for home-wreckers and pool boys alike.

Co-President Casanova Fly stated, “In this time of domestic economic uncertainty and international volatility, the OPP/PTLA wishes to extend their warmest regards for the little Appalachian Tail that slept alone this past week.”

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The OPP/PTLA is an international brother and sisterhood founded since, like, forever. It’s global membership includes another five letter word rhymin’ with cleanest and meanest and Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene.