Chores before whores. #wayback

Hashtag memes are the retweets of comedy¹. We all do it, it’s fun. It’s annoying. Whatever. Today #wayback bounced around timelines and hit Favrd².

While the intentions, as I understand them— A second chance to get your toots Favrd now that you have a following— were normal, the execution though… well, the hashtag ruined it before it got a fair shake.

I thought it was pretty cool. I mean, I’d star @rafitorres’s stuff over and over. Well, his old stuff³.

So I got to thinking about how this could be better.

1. Drop the hashtag, obviously.
2. Find someone else’s tweet.
3. Post that.
4. Don’t do it any one day of the week. Let’s do it whenever⁴.

Maybe it would look something like this:

Dad just called, all “It’s 3:30 pm, why don’t you put some pants on, run some errands.” Well, because FUCK YOU DAD, you’ll never understand.— EffingBoring

I’m going to start giving myself little rewards for being productive. Today, for example, every time I send an email, I’m quitting my job.— Remiel

I appreciate the meaning each year, but mom and I need to stop reenacting the birthing process. I’m just too big for it. The waiter agreed.—FarkerPeaceboy

Vagina blood never stops being like, Whoa! I’m vagina blood!— emilybrianna

‘Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul’. Well, Western civilization, I’d say that’s a wrap.—cleversimon

If I ever see the guy who responds to Gmail spam, I’ll know it, because he’ll have an 80 foot cock, ringed with fake Rolexes.— hotdogsladies⁵

Hmm, what should I buy today? I bagel with cream cheese or Bear Sterns?—Moltz⁵

After 5 years of the same 1-hour commute, I learned a new way that cuts it in half. All those hours of self-reflection I could’ve avoided.—lonelysandwich⁵

Now go ahead and star that shit.

1. Ooh, that’s good. I’m going to have to summize and tweet that.
2. Hashtag memes, good and bad, should get filtered out of Favrd. My opinion.
3. I kid.
4. Like follow recommendations should be so it doesn’t get diluted.
5. These guys were born with 5000 followers but there’s a reason for that shit.