Put It On The Short Stuff*

samhey:

Rocking my mullet drinking Absolut Sunkist
Wishing I could fondle the chin of Verne Lundquist
Putting more Funyuns on the meat of my hoagie
Got to find the matches to spark my double bogey

Put it on the short stuff – ask it to sit - get in the hole – take it home, take it home [repeat]

[2nd verse with vocorder and theremin]
Out of Amen Corner I see you coming on back
Showing off that fly denim fanny-pack
It gets all quiet when you roll my way
Glad I got the Aqua Velva going today

Put it on the short stuff – ask it to sit - get in the hole – take it home, take it home [repeat]

[harpsichord solo]

[3rd verse and final chorus with bagpipes and Robert Goulet]
Let me admire your convex shape    
Step into my trailer don’t mind the duct tape
Feeding my parrot his barbecue chips
Showing much game like Mickelson’s nips

Put it on the short stuff – ask it to sit - get in the hole – take it home, take it home [repeat 3x and fade out]

*As golf rap aficionados know well, the song was originally entitled “The Masters Trailer Park Hoagie Joint” but soon after its release became commonly known by the first line of the chorus.
All Rights Reserved 2001 

I don’t golf but this song reaffirms all my suspicions of the sport.

via samhey