JerryGate(s)

Symbolic Gestures

The JerryGate(s) campaign is symbolic. It’s about refocusing the Vista brand and the company. It’s about answering to the Apple ads. It’s about taking shots at Google as well. It’s about having the biggest dick in the room and not pulling out the tape measure. They don’t need to spell anything out for us. This is Microsoft’s Barton Fink and if you don’t get it, that’s OK. The French will LOVE this stuff.

The campaign is working. People are talking about Microsoft, Vista, Seinfeld and Gates. If the success of an ad campaign is measured in buzz, it’s a success. If it’s measured by the direct relationship in increased sales of, well, presumably Microsoft Vista then we will have to wait until Microsoft’s Q2 earnings report and leave it up to folks likeGlenn Fleishman and John Gruber to attempt to tease out the impact of the ad.* Until then we have these mysterious vignettes of Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld palling around with the commoners.

Clowns

The first ad features Gates shopping for a new pair of shoes at a the Shoe Circus discount shoe store. Something about churros and a Latino family watching from outside the shop. Conquistadors. Size 10. Shoe Circus Clown Club. Platinum. JerryGate(s) leave the store and something, something, edible computers. Butt shake. 

The words “Microsoft” or “Vista” are never mentioned. The only branding is the Windows logo on a light blue background at the end. 

It’s pretty obvious, to me anyway, that the spot is about evoking a feeling rather than telling. Each element represents *something*. Shoe Circus could be the PC (non-Apple) industry. The Latino family are consumers that haven’t taken the plunge yet but are curious. Vista as the Conquistadors require breaking in and don’t fit quite right at first. The Shoe Circus Clown Club is Microsoft. This is them poking fun at themselves. Gates is obviously a platinum member. Seinfeld’s goofy questions about edible computers are supposed to be all the feature requests and tangental projects that delay or derail the core product but with a magic boxer-brief adjustment, Gates confirms that they’re all there WITHOUT USING HIS HANDS. Your wish. His command.

Get Real

The second, longer ad is setup with the duo wanting to reconnect with the average family. Quick rundown goes something like this:

Dinner with scallopped potatoes. Same ol thing. Gramma wasn’t told they were eating. Fancy mustard. Ping pong scuffle. Seinfeld clipping his toenails. Stolen leather giraffe that’s been in the family for 6 years. It’s from Cabo. Secret game or something that will never be released. In the background Grandma gardens and does auto repair. Bill fills pool and wonders how long it takes to heat up. It never heats up, he’s told. Something about web browsers for goldfish or something. The robot.

Now this ad is the indirect/direct shot at not only Microsoft and the industry that’s built on Windows XP but Apple and Google as well. Now the Conquistadors are in the house.

The same ol’ dinner and the scalloped potatoes representing how Microsoft views consumers that are still on XP rather than the fancy new Conquistadors that Gates is still breaking in.

“Wasn’t this the same thing we had last night?” Gates asks. “This has cheese on it.” Seinfeld quips. Grandma (XP), who wasn’t told it was dinner time, tells Seinfeld (Vista brand messaging) that he’s in her chair.

The family offers some white wine dijon mustard to try and appeal to Gates’ perceived “fancy” side. The dad first scolds his son then is caught later sneaking a taste of the mustard the same way Microsoft first chided then tried to add new features like desktop search, iLife- like features and a whole mess of other enhancements to XP. Enhancements that were necessary because of the delayed release of Vista. *cough* *firewallsecurityfixes*

Microsoft also owns up to its mistakes much the same way a kid who isn’t really sorry for what happened apologizes. In the team ping pong match, Seinfeld is partnered with the Mom character. Remember, these are the “real people.” The consumers. The families, the geeks, the IT professionals, etc. Of course all Seinfeld can do is berate the mom for her lack of teamwork. “Ha ha! We didn’t listen to your requests, needs or demands. Here, have a firewall.”

In dealing with competition from Apple and Linux, Microsoft has always been consistent in their message. Dismissive. Here’s where the ad stays consistent. The above-ground pool is the Apple and Linux market share and growing it is like filling a pool with a garden hose. It takes forever and “never gets warm.” Hey, what’s a few percentage points to a company that basically owns 90% of the computer OS market?** Meanwhile Grandma XP keeps on taking care of the yard and the house.

Microsoft is calling Apple a petty, tween girl trying to, and succeeding in, soiling JerryGate(s)’ good intentions. She frames the sidekicks for the theft of the family leather giraffe aka Macintosh look and feel. The ‘rents call a family meeting where the heirloom status and quality is mocked with the “It’s been in the family for six years.” and “… we got it in Cabo.” lines. JerryGate(s) is punished to sand doors and when they confront the girl, she whines about toenail clippings and wanting her room back. Meanwhile Grandma XP diagnoses the car has a blown head gasket.

At the end, Seinfeld does his “funny” bit and wonders about what’s next. “… A frog with e-mail. Goldfish with a website. An amoeba with a blog.” You know, Google’s extended product lines. Again we’re treated to a goofy confirmation by Gates that those features are coming or are already there and as funky-fresh as his android dance. 

I’m guessing the next spot will be indirectly directed at Google.

SEE!

Now, does it make sense? This may be why the obtuse nature of the ad has a lot of people feeling confused, dismissive but mostly just “meh.” When you break it down to it’s symbolic nature, and I have my bias, it comes off as condescending and rude instead of charming. I’m sure Microsoft fanboys interpret the symbols in a much more positive light. Some people are actually into donkey punch porn.

The second ad weighs in at about four minutes and 30 seconds. That’s more than enough for up to nine 30-second spots and there will be more. It’s obvious that Microsoft will run the ads everywhere and often, hitting us over our subconscious with snark-filled, pillow-soft humor. We’re listening. We’re connecting. We’re going to move on to the pink house and learn more about you people. This is the subliminal mind-fuck campaign.

Unfortunately this re-invention is all too familiar.

UPDATE: The 30 second TV spots for the second ad have started to run. The last screen is updated with the words “STAY CONNECTED” implying whatever that implies. 

* This will be difficult considering that Microsoft’s Q2 is during the holiday shopping season. By the way, wise decision to launch campaign during the tail end of Q1. This gives them the opportunity to talk about the ads during the Q1 report without having to report on the effect on sales. Yet more buzz. This could backfire if year over year sales figures are lower but you always have the Economy to blame. But that’s putting the money shot before the rimjob, so to speak.

** Point of Sale, machine control systems and diagnostic machines included.